Why

Why problems exist? Why stress kills? Why some people are mean? Why some of them are just so cruel? Why the heck did you do?

Schrei: a Girl, a Gun and a Dead Body

Schrei! Schrei! Schrei! (Scream! Scream! Scream!)

Riding sounds howling in the sky, I'm standing there in a vision of red, beautifully mesmerized by the endless sea of green. Laying down on the fragility of dead crimson leaves covered by musk of dirt, I look up to the sky and think; the bleakness of life and the chaotic symphonic of the heart are the facts of the world and thus, I'm at the peak of depression and elation. Humming softly to a song of Evanescence, I wonder the birth of such ideas and numbness; oh well! Fortune smirk upon  my sincerity of life's smile still alive despite the corpse appeal to my bones.

Standing on top of a broken mountain, staring down into the abyss,. Preening voices; luscious and tempting like a Tempress of Doom, beckoning me like a Dementor to a Demented; seduced then I could fall, taken and held by crawls of foul plays. Foul! Foul  soul! Hush (huusshhh) lest you'll be next on the throne of noir. 

Flames formed the blames of hurt and hate painted on the skin of mine; it's alright sweetie, I'm a guiltless free bitch with a twisted smile and a big heart. Blame your problems on others while their will grow and yours shrink. Maturity is time and pain is a precious exchange that comes with joy. Factual things aren't the only lifeline you'll have. 

Don't look down,

Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you,

Don't look down, You'll fall down,

You'll become their sacrifice,

Right or wrong,

Can't hold on to the fear that I'm lost without you,

If I can't feel, I'm not mine,

I'm not real

All our lives, we've been waiting.

For someone to call a leader,

All your lies, I'm not believing,

Heaven shine a light down on me

(Only one by Evanescence)

Thus, the conclusion of my emotional concussion,tread by the thumping of the waves in the air and scented by the wildest dreams; coherency? undetermined as the sound of my mind and the state of my stand as I stood there gazing up to the billion blinking eyes of the stars. Depressed and tear-less.

Fishing in Cherating! XD

I sit there and waited... and waited... and waited and there was no fish -.-" so I changed my tactic and said; here fishy fishy! And my reign was pulled! xD

Lullaby

Dear Confession Five,

Nickelback

'Lullaby'

Well, I know that feeling

Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge

And there ain't no healing

From cutting yourself with the jagged edge

I'm telling you that, it's never that bad

Take it from someone who's been where you're at

Laid out on the floor

And you're not sure you can take this anymore

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out 

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

Stop thinking about the easy way out

There's no need to go and blow the candle out 

Because you're not done

You're far too young

And the best is yet to come

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this upon the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Well, everybody's hit the bottom

Everybody's been forgotten

When everybody's tired of being alone

Yeah, everybody's been abandoned

And left a little empty handed

So if you're out there barely hanging on...

Just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this upon the radio

If you can hear now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not a lone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Tiramisu! A sure rebound dessert for the unoccupied!

Dear Confession Four

My personal recipe for the Italian Tiramisu Dessert.

Ingredients: 

1. 4 Eggs
2. 500g of Cream Cheese or Mascarpone Cheese
3. 120g of Sugar (it can be brown or white, depends on what you have)
4. 400g of 'Forno Bonomi' Ladyfingers or 'Savoiardi' Ladyfingers (They're Italian biscuits). 
5. A teaspoon of cocoa powder for dusting.
6. 300 ml of warm coffee.

**For those in Shah Alam, you can get the 'Savoiardi' at a bakery shop called 'JJ's Bakery' at Section 9, it's behind 'Secret Recipe'. 

Instruction: For the Creamy Mixture.

1. Beat the eggs and add sugar into the mixture until they appear thick and pale. 
2. Add the cream cheese and a pinch of salt into the mixture. Mix until it appear thick and creamy.

Instruction: For the Tiramisu.

1. Prepare the hot coffee, pour it into a shallow dish (so that it'll be easier for you to dip the ladyfingers) and let it cool down. 
2. Dip the ladyfingers quickly into the coffee and arrange them side by side, in a serving dish.
3. Cover the ladyfingers with the creamy mixture. Use all the ladyfingers and the cream to form layers on top of each other.
4. Top with a layer of cream mixture.
5. Dust the top with cocoa.
6. Refrigerate for at least 5 hours before serving. It'll be best if you leave it over-night. 

Hope you'll enjoy the rest! 

Duchess

Ps: To my Aisy, if you are reading this, hope you'll stop by to receive the promised Tiramisu (I just made them). 

While you're making your dessert, dance to this song!

Shoot!

Dear Confession Number Three. 

I'm compulsive! Be it in my decisions or choices. I'm compulsive and it's my nature (my compulsiveness is always dominant when I'm bored or unoccupied, like now...) so people, just bare it with me okay.

Duchess.

Ma vie est un chaos magnifique.

Dear Confession Two,

Living life without any plans is a waste and immature but sometimes, having no plan at all is a plan itself. Sometimes, you've just got to take a breather and doing it once in a while (like a day or two) can do wonders to yourself. Take a breath and live! You deserve it after a long run. Just take thing slow and let chaos runs its course.

I actually forgot how it feels like to take things slow and to savour a moment (can you blame me for getting caught up with work and assignments?), life as a university student is a handful but now I'm just going to enjoy the freedom I have with my time (got a lot of things to do on my list and that includes doing nothing and watching movies).

So take my advice and just breathe for a second, who knows, you might just see the sun smirking down on you and realise that there's more to life than what's in front of you.

Duchess.